Here I stand in your sanctuary,
Your presence surrounds me.
This used to feel like home,
but now it just feels so strange.
I see your arms wide open,
reaching for me.
I hear your voice so gently calling,
but I can’t move.
My feet are planted firm.
As if they are stuck in cement.
I want to break free, but I can’t.
I try and try to rely on my own strength,
but it proves weak.
So I get angry and bitter.
I start to blame You because You didn’t just walk over and crush the cement for me.
How can a God that says He loves me and desires for me to be free to walk with Him want me to be captive to this?
It doesn’t seem right does it?
I sit in my self-pity,
sinking deeper and deeper…
Then You whisper in my ear and remind me that I never honestly asked for help.
I just expect You to do it for me.
I am lazy and to be honest,
I really don’t want free if it means work on my part.
I am an idiot.
All You want is for me to ask.