For an extreme introvert, it is hard to go in public; sometimes even leaving the house is a struggle. It is like everything just seems surreal. You walk through stores, church, et cetera trying not to make contact with anyone. If you do, you immediately want to crawl in a hole and hide. So, life consists of trying to live life as a hermit.
Making friends is near impossible; so introverts can feel pretty lonely at times. As much as they want to have friends, they shy away from getting close to people. There may be a few people the introvert feels comfortable around, but crowds of people just isn’t their thing. Most relationships feel forced and social interactions do not feel normal.
I am what I would call and extreme introvert. All of the above things definitely apply to me. I have to force conversations and eye contact with most people and it does not feel natural, at all. I didn’t speak to my husband much at all while we dated and yet somehow he still married me and we have four kids, haha). Most of the time, I am afraid to talk because every time I do, I feel like I say something stupid; so I prefer social media because I can’t see people’s reactions when I say something, but even then, I get nervous and delete my stuff, a lot of the time.
If you touch me, I might freak out inside, but I also crave affection sometimes. Complementing me sends me into total awkwardness because I do not feel worthy. Basically, I try to act tough because I can’t handle emotional situations, at all. I care, probably too much, most of them, but you will rarely know. There are very few people who have ever broken that awkward barrier.
Sometimes I don’t make much sense; even to myself.
Beneath the surface; the real me is awkward, dorky, goofy, temperamental, insecure, sarcastic, grumpy, selfish, selfless, rude, loud, quiet, etc.
I’m just another human who needs her Savior and that’s the bottom line.
Jeremiah 29:11